What does marriage equality mean?


I have spent quite some time thinking about Marriage Equality – about what it really means for same-sex couples to have the right to get married and why there are still so many people who are against this basic civil right.  I have tried to put myself in our opponents heads and get to the root of their aversion to allow same-sex couples basic inherent rights that are provided to all heterosexual couples.  I have tried to understand why opponents to same-sex marriage can morally advocate for a civil marriage involving an incarcerated felon or a civil marriage between two strangers in Las Vegas but yet can oppose my right to marry my partner of 13 years.  Am I missing something here?  Where is the link between my marriage to my partner and the end of society as we know it?

So as I ponder what is so morally apprehensible about my marriage, I come up with nothing – but that is by my own standards – because I know that my relationship with my partner is no different than any straight relationship going on 13 years.  But I have to dig deeper – really get into the issues people have with my relationship.  Of course, there is the obvious – the Bible – which says it’s an abomination for a man to lie with another man, but I’m a girl, so does that apply to me?  Anyways, that can’t be it because marriage is a contract between two consenting adults and the state – and nowhere in that contract does it say anything about the bible, so I have to move on.  Gay people are trying to change the definition of marriage – could that be it?  Am I changing the definition of marriage?  Let’s see what Webster says about the definition and see if I want to change that –an intimate or close union. Nope, I don’t want to change that.

Maybe they think gay people are going to ruin the sanctity of marriage.  Honestly, that’s not on my agenda, straight people with their 50+% divorce rate are doing a fine job of that on their own.  And on a side note, shouldn’t opponents of marriage equality who are concerned with the sanctity of marriage be fighting for the elimination of divorce – that should sanctify marriage.

But then after some more thinking, I think I have the answer – they are scared we are trying to convert the kids.  We are trying to grow our team by selectively choosing among the most influential group in our population – the little ones.  Because as well all know in our monthly gay agenda meetings, that recruitment is essential – because we were taught early on how easy it is to sway sexual orientation.

In all seriousness, anyone who is gay or straight, knows that they have no say in their orientation.  We fall in love with who we fall in love with – it’s just that simple – and the harder you fight your orientation, the more miserable you are going to be.  A child’s sexual orientation will not change – whether kids see gay people getting married or straight people getting married, it doesn’t matter.  What does matter to kids is acceptance.  If you are gay adult, then you know its not always the easy road to be part of a minority.  But as a kid, being different is exponentially more difficult.  The more accepting we are as a society will be directly proportional to the emotional well-being of our kids – gay or straight.

I’m not naïve enough to think marriage equality will solve all problems in our society – but I do believe that it is a step in the right direction towards equality and inclusion for a segment of our population that despite merely living our lives, we are made to feel like second class citizens.



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